The Appeal of Losing Weight When You're Stressed (and how to look deeper)

You’re overwhelmed…deadlines are due, your partner is starting to get annoyed that you’re not around as much (and when you are, you’re not really there), your home is a mess, you forgot your friend’s birthday and there is just.not.enough.time. The demands are crushing and you’re left feeling like things are slipping through the cracks at an alarming rate.

Enter the newest “clean” eating plan/cleanse/re-set/diet and exercise plan. It’s structured. Dependable. There’s a clear right and wrong way to do it. Success is measured in numbers. It tells you exactly what to do. And holy hell do you just want someone telling you what to do in this area.

So you embark on the new journey. You’re pumped. You write out your grocery list, know exactly what you’re eating for lunch 4 days from now, and begin to feel the internal shaking dissipate. If you can just stick to this, you know it’s going to help everything else fall into place. You’ve felt it before when you’ve lost weight---euphoric, untouchable, accepted.

But the thing is, we know those feelings don’t last long. Because while your brain and body are clinging to the structure, rigidity and ‘easy’ answers that diets/wellness plans/cleanses sell us on, the relief is all too temporary.

I remember the excitement of preparing for whatever my newest attempt to change my body was---the anticipation, the feeling of control and the comfort of having purpose and direction. I was distracted, however temporarily, from the stuff just below the surface. That is, until I was ‘bad’ and went off the plan, or missed a workout. Then the old feelings came tumbling back, along with a few new feelings of shame.

If this sounds familiar-you’re not alone and there’s nothing wrong with your willpower, body or brain. Your body is brilliant at getting its needs met and your brain is big and beautiful and has more important things to ponder than what you’re eating for breakfast 3 days from now.

What would it feel like to talk with your stress a bit? To ask yourself: what do I need today to feel rested? Nurtured? Energized? With practice you can begin to tune in to what you need to care for yourself and respond to stress in ways that are compassionate. How would it feel to meet your needs in a kind way today?